Thursday, April 7, 2011

How to be a Responsible Adult


You go to college to prepare for your future. You get up; You go to work; You drink barrels of coffee. You see your coworkers for more hours a day than your own family. They ask you stuff; You ask them stuff. Both of you make stuff up in response. You talk about who got kicked off yesterday on Dancing with the Stars. Then, you go to lunch. Everyday, it’s a different restaurant. When you run out of new restaurants, you brown bag it and play ping-pong during lunch. Afterward you throw in a few hours of paper shuffling that satisfies the boss enough to give you your weekly pay. It’s just enough to keep your ex-wife living in the style she’s grown accustomed and you in your studio apartment. At the end of the day you get home exhausted; fit only to drink one or two beers in front of the friend that’s stuck around through thick and thin, TV. You watch Biggest Loser and take comfort that at least you’re not that fat. Finally, you go to bed. The next morning you get up and do it all again.

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