The Mornings Last Longer.

Mornings are not my thing. I don’t remember if they ever were. But, I do remember jumping up out of bed before the 7am alarm could wake my roommate in college. I don’t remember the long start up time that I feel now, twenty years later. These are the things about aging they don’t tell you. It is easy to see the physical changes: the skin, hair, and girth. Old people tell you about the difficulty healing or jumping as high. But, it never dawned on me that these changes would make my mornings longer.

When I was younger all I did was get out of bed and maybe put my hair in a pony tail and brush my teeth. Now, this process of grooming takes much longer. It requires blow dryers, flat irons, and hair goop. That’s just for the hair. Then my face requires lotions and makeup to look not nearly half as good as youth did. It’s too bad that we don’t appreciate how good we have it when we are younger.

As an adult, I knew things would be different. But, I kept thinking maybe I’ll feel the energy I used to if only I sleep well. I thought a good night’s sleep was all I needed to rejuvenate my face too. But, after so many nights of hoping to recover my vitality, I’ve realized, it’s only going to keep changing. What I see in the mirror and what I feel in my joints are due to age more than lack of sleep. In truth, I sleep pretty well. But, I’m not feeling my best until after noon. I guess that’s what twenty years has done to me.

Juicy Fruit Drippings

I like to eat oranges, and mangoes, and watermelon and pretty much any other juicy sweet fruit that leaves my hands in need of a washing. I also enjoy those stringy bits that get stuck between my teeth. I like it especially on a summer night when the air has turned cooler but the earth is still hot. I enjoy looking out into the darkness and feeling the heat from below, the cool from above, and the juicy in my mouth.

Some people would cut up the fruit and eat it with utensils to avoid getting too many drippings. But, for me, the more senses I can engage in consuming the fruit, the better. Its better when more surface area gets tangled up in the activity. The skin on my chin and the skin on my arms and sometimes the skin on my legs add to my enjoyment when a dripping fall and spreads.

Next Exit: You've Lost It.

I’ve had the same combination lock since I graduated high school in 1988. I remember using it to hold my stuff in Boelter Hall at UCLA. The next time I remember using the lock was when I started exercising. I’ve used the lock on a regular basis for years as I lock my gym bag behind a metal door.

But, imagine my dismay when one day, I returned to my gym locker and couldn’t remember the combination. It felt like when I can’t find quite the word I want to say. Usually the word ends up confused and combined with another word that means a similar thing. That is what happened to me with the lock. I was recalling numbers that had nothing to do with my lock: my phone numbers, my address, my birthday, for example.  It took a long time before I was finally able to access the right place in my memory.

I wonder how it is that this happened. I wonder how something I use so often could get overshadowed by other information. I wish when I can’t find the right word, I could afford to take the time to search my memory for as long as I did with the combination. But, usually I’m engaging in ‘interpersonal communication’ and can’t ask the other party to ‘please hold’….

But, the episode is also a bit scary. We all fear losing it. We look for signs we are on that path. For those 10-15 minutes, I felt like I was on that ramp to losing it. Thank goodness, I haven’t been on that path since. But, I’m searching for the next sign of my exit from sanity. I hope it never comes.

Ketchup

Today, I want to bring up a subject that is important to me. That subject is ketchup. I like the taste of ketchup. Its tart-sweetness adds just the right zest to so many dishes. But, not everyone shares my fondness for ketchup. Rather, some think that the way I express my affection for ketchup is odd.

Last week, I had breakfast with a very good friend. We ate at a Hawaiian restaurant. The buffet included a delicious fried rice dish. Mixed into the item were bits of egg and sausage. When she saw me pour ketchup into the mix, she made a disapproving face. She followed that up by a disapproving comment. That is not the first time she has found my use of ketchup odd. I also enjoy my tuna salad with ketchup. She thinks ketchup and tuna is an even odder combination than fried rice and ketchup.

But, you know what? I like that it is odd.  I enjoy being a little weird. We all want to be special. We all want to be unique. Weird implies unique.

It is too late for me to become a rock star. I have no special talent in sports or the arts. One thing that distinguishes me is my set of quirks. My love of ketchup is only one of them. I do enjoy my weirdness. I also enjoy the quirks in you! Those are the qualities that make you special. As long as your quirks do no harm, embrace them. Because those are the things people remember about you. People might love them; they might hate them. But, they remember them. 

p.s. One place I will not put ketchup is on my hot dog. Ketchup doesn't belong on hot dogs. 

Waking Up.

When we stretch and yawn in the morning we make groaning noises. But, when dogs or cats stretch after sleeping or resting, I don’t recall that they make any noises. They open their mouth to let the air out. But, I don’t recall any noise. Why do we make noise and they don't? Did we learn that or is that how we’re built?

Why get married?

Some say that marriage is just a formality; that it’s just paper work. But, I disagree. Marriage is a commitment that two people will join together and live for each other.

But, there’s a lot more at stake than two people. There is a community that stands behind this couple and supports them in their life together. All the people from the two families are invested in the success of the union. There are also other people, like friends or children that stand along the couple that are part of the glue that will help keep these two together and achieving a good future. Thus, marriage is a stronger commitment between two people because there are more than two people involved.

Further, it’s also a commitment to the government. Marriage is a legally binding institution. Societies know that marriage is good for the betterment of the community, so a marriage is a concept that societies validate. Women and children do better in a home where there is a husband that acts as father to the children. We all do better when our neighbors do well.

Finally, and most importantly, marriage is a commitment with God: A covenant, a sacrament. The religious need no further argument. The irreligious will never hear an argument about God that sways them. So, I won’t go on about this point.

In summary marriage is an important step to showing each other and the community’s others, as well as God, you mean business; when you marry you are telling each other that you can feel safe in the knowledge that the bond between two is for the long run.

I'm Jealous of your relationship with God

Dear Proselytizers,

I love your enthusiasm for God. I admire your faith. In fact, I’m somewhat jealous of the purity of your convictions. I wish I could believe like you do. But, I don’t.

My religious upbringing was not that solid. I have some basic knowledge of the ‘facts’ that drive you to try to convince me to go back. But, I think I would rather sleep in. I believe in what you believe, sort of. But, sometimes when I hear the things you ‘bank’ on, it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Part of it is that I’m just not sure you are right. But, the other part is maybe you are.

In any case, it sounds like a wonderful mythology. However, I have a hard time accepting it as fact and I would just rather do something else on Sunday. I know good deeds count for something, that’s what I’m banking on. See you on the other side, or not.

Sincerely,

The Unholy.