Nervous Energy.

Nervousness. What does it do for you? Nothing. It’s just a bunch of energy without focus. It taxes the muscles and the mind. It’s exhausting, but the end result is nothing. Yet, capturing the energy and using it to focus on the task at hand is tricky. Mostly because it isn’t one task that has made me nervous; it’s a whole set of tasks. Tasks I need to do, but have failed to complete. The anxiety comes from not knowing what to do or where to focus or who to ask for help. Everyone has their own issues; will they be able to bother with mine? Will they think less of me because I don’t know? What is worse is letting this build into a big fiasco and then fearing the response to the mess. Which way to turn? Where to look? What to do? Will I ever master the nervousness? Will I ever find satisfaction? Will it ever be enough?

I’ve just been given a gift; Don’t mess it up! This is a chance to focus on the bottom line and get it done! So, do it! Focus on this, that matters. Ignore the things that interfere with getting this gift taken care of. Drop what doesn’t add to the completion of this gift!

Government Does Things Wrong.

Poorly. That’s the answer to the question, “Come out and see how the government spends your money.” At the beginning of last week, a spokesperson for Navy week invited Southern California residents to visit San Pedro and take a look at some ships in the fleet.

I set out to do this on Sunday 31 July 2011. We arrived at the end of the 110 freeway just before 10am. Instead of allowing us to enter the parking of the World Cruise Terminal, we were directed towards the ports o’ call shopping area. By the time we parked and walked back to the World Cruise Terminal, it was 11am. It was odd that despite the many vacant parking spots, we were not allowed to enter and park there. When we finally saw someone to ask where to go, we were told the tours had been shutdown. (They were advertised to go on until 4pm.)

It was a great disappointment to be told the tours had been shutdown. It was a great frustration that we were not informed by the signs on the freeway or the traffic officials directing traffic that the tours had been shutdown. Further, why wasn’t there anybody from the Navy telling us this? Why let the sheriff’s controlling traffic be the bad guys?

Earlier in the week I had seen the news that the crowds were larger than anticipated, but the message from these news reports was, “More buses will be acquired.” Did that happen? What went wrong? Did you see all the disappointment you created?

The take away from me is that government is inefficient and does a very bad job taking care of the money it takes away from my family.