What I want to see on the morning news.

A few weeks ago, a local television (KTLA) station asked what stories veiwers are interested in, and which they don't think deserves to be on the air.
I watch the morning news before I leave the house for work. Here is my list of things I do and don't want to watch while preparing for my day.
Avoid
1) 'Lifestyle' segments sponsored by the company whose products are featured in the segment.
2) 'Internet Sensations' If I want to know what's trending on the internet, I would be on my computer, not watching the morning news.
3) Do not spend the whole news cast focused on one story. Yes, fire and car chases and Michael Jackson's doctor require a mention, but there is no need to devote the entire show to any one story.
4) Gossip is not entertainment. I dont' care who has a secret love child, or who likes to dress up like big bird as their paramor nibbles on their dark meat.
5) Do not express your personal opinions. Yes, I like sharing my mornings with your, but I don't care to hear your opinions about much of anything.  (There is another station where the weather reporter has to express an opion about everything. Don't follow that example.) Also, I don't really need to know about your personal life, your children, or your spouse.
Must do
1) Traffic & Weather. I need to know if there are any streets or freways I should avoid on the way to work, and I need to know how warmly to dress for the day. Do I need an umbrella?
2) Give me a short thumbnail of news stories that are going on in the nation and the world and entertainment.
3) Devote most of your segments to what is happening locally. If there are interesting events upcoming, I would like to know.
4) When speaking with entertainers, focus on thier professional projects. The developments of their personal lives is not news.
5) Let the guests get their points across. Don't interupt them. We hear you every day, let someone else talk.

Don't Borrow from Me.

I know someone that is a mark for her friends and family. They ask to borrow money often. She complies, but then complains about it. She doesn't want to do it, but she thinks it's a compassionate, charitable act.

I say, don't do it if you don't want to and if you do want to ask these questions:

1) How will you use the money?

2) How and when will you repay this loan?

3) Where else have you looked for this money? Who have you asked? Why did they decline?

4) Don't you have the money? Why?

5) Perhaps there are ways for you to get the money on your own. Have you considered a yard sale? Maybe you have items in your closet that you don't use any more. If they are luxury items, you can sell them online for a larger return.

The answers will reveal what chance there is of the money being repaid. Also, it will reveal if they have used the money on frivolities. In which case, they don't deserve the money.

Here are some ways to say no:

“Sorry, I don't have any money to spare. My money is accounted for even before I earn it.”

“You mean you don't have any money? That's a bummer as I was going to ask to borrow from you. Why don't we just call it even?”

“Sorry, it’s my policy to be neither a borrower nor a lender.”

“Unless it's a matter of life or death, please don't ask.”

“If I give you the money, then I'll be without it and you know what it's like to be without money. I know you don't want to put me in that situation. So I will not put you in that situation.”

“Sorry, I can't help you.” If they ask why, say, "Why does the reason matter? Would your knowing help you in any way? Also, I don't feel comfortable discussing my personal finances."

Buy time: "I can't answer now. I need to talk to my wife/accountant...” or “I need to check on my accounts”. Hopefully, they will move on and not ask again.

If you do decide to lend money, be prepared to never see it again.

If someone asks for a second loan after you've extended one before, you can respond that you will consider it once they have paid the original debt.

Finally, I must say I do not think it is a charitable act to bail people out of bad situations they have created for them selves. By saying 'no' you teach them to act right, or suffer the consequences. You are doing them a favor by saying 'no'. You are helping them grow up.

Hamburger Meat.

Ground beef doesn't get its proper respect, but it is tasty, when done right. Too often, however, it does seem to get the thin side side of the burger. That reference I just made up requires a little history.
White Castle. I know this fast food place from pop culture. That's why when I made it to the midwest and saw franchises lining the highway on the way from the airport, I told my Michigan host we must go there before my trip finished. He warned me against it, but I relented and eventually we found ourselves at the drive through.

I couldn't wait. I ate the burger in the car. My first thought was, "My this is a tiny burger." Then, "Wait, they forgot the meat." Then, "Oh, it's there, I thought it was a condiment."
I was surprised that it was so thin, but the taste was an even bigger surprise: a dissapointment. Later, when I saw a homeless man being given some White Castle burgers, I thought they were trying to add insult to the injury of being homeless.

I guess since I didn't grow up with these burgers, they don't appeal to me. I did grow up with McDonald's, and I do enjoy going there. Recently, however, McD has followed the midwestern trend, at least the one in El Segundo on Sepulveda Blvd. The meat is getting thinner. I often enjoyed a hamburger as a snack. Now, it's mostly bun. A sign of the times? Sign.

Nervous Energy.

Nervousness. What does it do for you? Nothing. It’s just a bunch of energy without focus. It taxes the muscles and the mind. It’s exhausting, but the end result is nothing. Yet, capturing the energy and using it to focus on the task at hand is tricky. Mostly because it isn’t one task that has made me nervous; it’s a whole set of tasks. Tasks I need to do, but have failed to complete. The anxiety comes from not knowing what to do or where to focus or who to ask for help. Everyone has their own issues; will they be able to bother with mine? Will they think less of me because I don’t know? What is worse is letting this build into a big fiasco and then fearing the response to the mess. Which way to turn? Where to look? What to do? Will I ever master the nervousness? Will I ever find satisfaction? Will it ever be enough?

I’ve just been given a gift; Don’t mess it up! This is a chance to focus on the bottom line and get it done! So, do it! Focus on this, that matters. Ignore the things that interfere with getting this gift taken care of. Drop what doesn’t add to the completion of this gift!

Government Does Things Wrong.

Poorly. That’s the answer to the question, “Come out and see how the government spends your money.” At the beginning of last week, a spokesperson for Navy week invited Southern California residents to visit San Pedro and take a look at some ships in the fleet.

I set out to do this on Sunday 31 July 2011. We arrived at the end of the 110 freeway just before 10am. Instead of allowing us to enter the parking of the World Cruise Terminal, we were directed towards the ports o’ call shopping area. By the time we parked and walked back to the World Cruise Terminal, it was 11am. It was odd that despite the many vacant parking spots, we were not allowed to enter and park there. When we finally saw someone to ask where to go, we were told the tours had been shutdown. (They were advertised to go on until 4pm.)

It was a great disappointment to be told the tours had been shutdown. It was a great frustration that we were not informed by the signs on the freeway or the traffic officials directing traffic that the tours had been shutdown. Further, why wasn’t there anybody from the Navy telling us this? Why let the sheriff’s controlling traffic be the bad guys?

Earlier in the week I had seen the news that the crowds were larger than anticipated, but the message from these news reports was, “More buses will be acquired.” Did that happen? What went wrong? Did you see all the disappointment you created?

The take away from me is that government is inefficient and does a very bad job taking care of the money it takes away from my family.

TV is two sins for the price of one!

I read an article in the newspaper some time ago that said TV makes people dumb. It didn't use those words, but that's what I got from it. The article cited a test where subjects took a test that required abstract thought. The test-takers that watched TV before the test did worse than the control group that didn't watch TV.

Maybe that's why I've been having such a tough time focusing and getting things done. I know for sure TV time leads to lazy time. It also, sometimes, leads to gluttony. Two sins (sloth and gluttony) in one!

Must watch less TV.

Keep your audience in mind, or they won't mind you.

If you write a blog that you want me to read, then please write about something that might be useful to my life. Don’t go on and on about how wonderful you are and how others just don’t appreciate you. Don’t try to be funny by being mean. As in all work, you must keep your audience in mind. If you don’t, you will not find any audience minding you.

I read a lot of blogs. Too many are focused on the author.  This one is like those too, for the most part. However, the distinction between them and me is that I write these words not focused on the hope that someone else will like what I have to say. I don’t have dreams of making a living by this blog. Instead, I’m here to hash out what my mind is loudly shouting. I could use an old fashion journal, but then what if one day my family stumbles upon it when I’m not around? I also hope that if I gripe here, I will relieve my friends and family from listening to my complaints. I guess someone I know might stumble on this page, but they would first need to discern that it’s me. If they were inclined, with a little sleuthing, they might find I come here, but I don’t think they would do that unless I come to some untimely demise, and the investigators need to figure out if I have some dastardly secret life.

Blogs are funny things. They make certain types feel important. I’m here to do a brain dump. It will not hurt my feelings if you move on to the next blog now. It’s ok if you don’t ‘like it.’ No need to tweet this.

Diet Coke, Please!

We scoffed at the man carrying a diet coke on his tray.  “What’s the point? He has a chili dog and fries; a regular coke isn’t going to make much difference and it will taste so much better.”

The person behind us chimed in, “Maybe he likes the tastes.”

We couldn’t figure out if he was serious or playing along.

Now, I find myself in the same habit as this man at the front of the line at Pink’s ten or fifteen years ago.

I’m not sure when it happened, but diet Coke is a flavor I enjoy. Coke Zero tastes much like regular Coke, but I often forsake it in favor of diet Coke. The only times I choose regular Coke are when I’m in a foreign country that bottles its Cokes with real sugar in a glass bottle. Yum.

Why do I even choose a soda? Well, I enjoy it. I also figure that there is no need to do more damage than I’m already doing. I guess, I also figure if I’m going for the hamburger, I can go ahead and get a small order of fries instead of a regular soda and not add too many more calories. I know, I could save double the calories, if I drank water, or iced tea and skipped the fries altogether.

In any case, I’m now just like that guy, choosing a greasy meal and complementing it with diet Coke. I don’t care what they say. It’s at least 150 calories I’m saving, that’s a lot of minutes on the cardio machines, and yeah, I like the flavor.

Moments

This morning I realized we really are alone when it comes to ‘moments’.  Occasionally I share a moment with someone, but I doubt we see the moment the same way.

I spent this morning in melancholy because I’m bloated, wearing my laundry day pants, and my roots are showing. I went from station to station on the radio. I listened to a bit of talk and a bit of music before all the channels simultaneously went to commercial. Then, I turned on the CD. The next track happened to be from a CD with music from when I was dancing with a Bollywood troupe. One song, that I’ve always liked came on and took me right back to all the good moments this sound has been the sound track for, most recently, and most importantly my wedding day. I drove myself to the hair salon. It was raining softly. This song is about rain. It mimics the approach of a storm, and then swells into a deluge, and then it drops down back to silence. The music fills my heart. (That’s corny to say, but how else can I explain it?) The drums and voice and strings rise and fall and my emotions follow.

I sat in my car, parked in the garage at work until the song finishes. Then I realized this moment was alone. The moment it reminded me of was also alone. Would anyone understand it if I shared it? We spend so much time alone. How would my experiences be different if I spend my time in a crowded metropolis, commuting on a train or crowded bus? Would home be the refuge it is if it was one of many tiny apartments in a multi story building without an elevator? Would I be reliving my moment if my office was one of those open places where there aren’t even cubicle walls to separate me from my neighbor?

How different would things be for me if my community was not in an individualistic culture? Would I crave the company? Would I only see my moments with others in it? Would I long for ‘me’ time? Would my moment still feel like only I’ve experienced it? Are we alone in our moments, really?

A Comfortable Perch or Free Fall

When I was I was younger, before I had commitments and responsibilities, I could not imagine doing what didn’t interest me for very long. However, as an ‘adult’ it is so easy to fall into the trap a twenty-year-old looks on with disdain. It seems so easy from a young person’s perspective; you simply leave when things start being less than great. It seems so easy, but conformity breeds fear.

The longer I stay where I am, the harder it is to leave. The unknown is scarier when you are 40 than 20: What will I do? Where will I go? Will I be able to pay the bills? That must be why things are easier to learn at an earlier age. When we’re young it’s all possibilities. Learning new things is building up experiences. We’ve fallen and gotten up when we learned to walk, bike, and skate. Those are our reference points when we’re young. When we’re older, we’ve seen broken people. We’ve suffered heart ache. New is still exiting, but it’s also unknown and loaded with unknown possibilities for pain, including failure, heartache, or shame.

I wish leaving this comfortable position didn’t leave me feeling like I’m flying through the air frantically looking for a place to perch before gravity pulls me into a broken lump on the ground. There must be something in between a comfortable perch and free fall.

A Day in Creative Writting Class

As John finished his comments about William’s story, Mrs. Robinson turned her gaze to Marlene. She had just flipped the page of the newspaper that lay on her desk. William’s story lay on top.

“How’s that paper, Marlene?”

“Is that a subtle suggestion to get rid of it?”

“Not so subtle,” Mrs. Robinson said. “I didn’t read the paper when you were reading your story.”

Marlene closed the paper. “That’s true, but you were rummaging through your bag while I read and others texted,” after a beat, she continued, “However, I must apologize to William for this distraction. Your story was excellent. I enjoyed how you let us discover the main character and his descent from normalcy into homelessness…"

Being a Grown Up is Hard.

Life long habits are hard to overcome. I’ve never had to exercise a whole lot of discipline because what I wanted and needed to do always came so easily. As a kid, school was so natural. I did my homework in front of the TV. My parents didn’t demand a whole lot in terms of chores, so I never learned how to plan out my schedule. Further, I had a bunch of free time because I didn’t have many responsibilities. I never had to prioritize. These things have made my adult life one great challenge.

For a long time, I longed for the freedom of my childhood. I kept wishing to catch up on one last mountain of chores. Foolishly, I thought, that getting past the bump, would take me to that easy feeling again. However, whether I tamed that mountain of responsibilities or not, it wasn’t long before another burden came my way. Now, I’ve finally realized that I need to figure out how to prioritize all those things that come my way. Some, I’ll need to take care of immediately. Others will need to be added in after more pressing matters. There will be other things which will need to be ignored.

It’s hard to ignore those other things, though. Usually, those other things are interesting. Finding time to do those interesting things, while still meeting the demands of those things that must be done, will be the toughest part. Well, I can’t give them up entirely! These are things like hobbies, or things that help me grow as a person. However, I must meet the most important demands of my work and my personal relationships. I need to work, because I have bills. I need to maintain relationships, because it’s a need we all have. I also long to spend time with myself: to read, to learn, and to push my body.

I guess, reluctantly, the thing I must give up is TV. I’ve spent so much of my life in front of the tube, that it’s second nature. It’s easy to go to when I’m tired. But, I need to push myself sometimes. Instead of TV, I might need to do laundry, or pack my lunch, or clean out my car.

The first step is to realize you have a problem, they say. Now, the hard part, figuring out a strategy to get past the problem…

How to Breathe while Swimming.

The results for my online search for ‘how to swim’ were less than satisfactory. They detailed some of the mechanics of swimming. But, they failed to address the major concerns of a new swimmer. What I found yielded only the results of those that have swam so long, they have forgotten the fears of a new swimmer. Here is what I wish my search had told me:

1)      Wear goggles!

2)      Focus on balancing in the water.

a.       With each stroke, your body rotates around the axis of your spine

b.      Practice making long rhythmic strokes.

c.       Keep your head in the water

If you do the above, breathing will come easily. For me figuring out how to breathe without getting a lung full of water was my biggest concern. This problem took care of itself when I focused on the above. Because:

1)      Wearing goggles the first time was amazing. I could open my eyes underwater and see where I was going. Being able to see freed me of some of my fears of having my face underwater.

2)      In my research, I’ve found that swimming is balancing on the water. It’s important to dedicate the first few visits to the pool to figuring out how your body balances in the water. Luckily, my body fat is well distributed throughout my body. That makes it easier for me to float without much effort. Others aren’t so lucky.  The internet and swimming instruction DVDs devote some time to floating, and they are well worth looking for.

a.       Once I figured out how my body floats in the water, I was able to move through the water rotating my hips and shoulders along the axis of my spine with each stroke. This motion will make it easier to breath. It’s not just your head and neck that move when you get air. I didn’t realize this. I thought my belly would always be parallel to the bottom of the pool. This position, however, made it quite difficult for me to get air.

b.      In addition to the side to side body rotation, having a long stroke makes it easier when it comes time to breathe. With a long stroke, you body will shift a bit. It will balance in the direction of the outstretched arm and give your other side the lift necessary to get your gulp of air.

c.       Always keep the top of your head pointed in the direction of travel. This causes a depression in the water, so when you turn to breathe, you will do it easily without getting water up your nose. At first I was doing it all wrong. I was lifting my head too far out of the water. Ironically, this made it more likely that I would get water in my nose. Also, it will through your balance off.

Because of the above, it is important to spend some time in the pool working on your stroke in the shallow end of the pool. When it becomes familiar territory, then it’s time to work on the breathing. Until then, just stand when you need to, or rotate on your back to get some air. If you spend some time working on the stroke, the breath will come much easier. I’m living proof of this.

How to be a Responsible Adult

You go to college to prepare for your future. You get up; You go to work; You drink barrels of coffee. You see your coworkers for more hours a day than your own family. They ask you stuff; You ask them stuff. Both of you make stuff up in response. You talk about who got kicked off yesterday on Dancing with the Stars. Then, you go to lunch. Everyday, it’s a different restaurant. When you run out of new restaurants, you brown bag it and play ping-pong during lunch. Afterward you throw in a few hours of paper shuffling that satisfies the boss enough to give you your weekly pay. It’s just enough to keep your ex-wife living in the style she’s grown accustomed and you in your studio apartment. At the end of the day you get home exhausted; fit only to drink one or two beers in front of the friend that’s stuck around through thick and thin, TV. You watch Biggest Loser and take comfort that at least you’re not that fat. Finally, you go to bed. The next morning you get up and do it all again.

An Initiate

For one day, I felt part like an initiate. I sat at a late night eatery after a gig with two veterans of the hey day of stand up comedy. One of these guys was my mentor that prepared me and others for our day on the stage. It took six weeks to prepare for our seven to ten minute bits. The audience was friendly. Why not, most of them had been invited by myself and the other beginners. They were our friends and family. They were rooting for us. It was awesome! I’m still floating. I enjoyed figuring out my introduction and seeing the M.C. do his thing with it. I enjoyed being asked if I wanted to use the mike stand or not. I enjoyed the sound check. I enjoyed being in the wings with the other budding comics listing to the person on stage. The performers included us seven in the stand up comedy class. Most of us were complete novices. But, a couple had some limited stand up experience. One has a day job but performs at the local clubs from time to time. The two other performers are the NYC transplants that regaled those that stayed to have a late night dinner with stories about their life. They told us about the nice and not so nice famous people they’ve worked with: Their experience of being on a late night show, Their experience working the stand-up comedy clubs when a comic could make a living going up and down the Atlantic coast at  various discos turned comedy clubs. It was an awesome experience and I’ll love it for ever. But, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever go on stage again in this capacity. It’s too hard and it’s too much work. However, I have learned something that will help me for ever. I’ve learned a bit of how to be funny. People listen when you’re funny. I love the attention, so I will work on being funny again. But, the stage will be my own life.

Television Biscuits

Aren’t biscuits delicious? One day I was watching a morning show while getting ready for work. A woman was preparing biscuits and said how easy they are to make. So, I thought, I would make some.

I went online to the show’s website and found the recipe. It was only a few ingredients. Some kneading and rolling out was required. But, as long as yeast wasn’t required; and it wasn’t, it seemed like easy goings. I’ve kneaded and rolled out crusts for tarts in the past, so I thought it would be simple. After all, she said it would be easy.

But, this dough was tacky. I couldn’t put enough flour on my hands or counter to keep it from sticking. Instead of rolling out the dough and cutting out the biscuits, I decided to make balls and press them into the sheet like cookies.

But, I had only a few, less than delicious, biscuits to show for all my efforts. When these things don’t work out the way I would like, I don’t feel inclined to try it again. So, now, whenever I taste a biscuit, whether store bought or home made, I appreciate the effort that went into it and call it good as long as it’s satisfactory.

Give me that ol'time religion.

For the last several months, I’ve been trying out religion. There are always initiates that are eager to bring guests with them on their regular visits to church. But, now my initiate has over loaded my mind with all the nuances that drove me away in the first place. I can only assume that nuances are simply a misspelling of nuisances.

I’ve been here before. Maybe I just need to try another church. I’ve only really ventured into one particular denomination. I assume that religion is like skin color, you get for life what you’re born into…unless you’re Michael Jackson. Maybe I should just let him RIP.

In any case, I wonder if being religious is a trait you are born with like athletic ability. You either have it or you don’t. I’ve only ever been along for the ride…because my parents forced me to go.

But, I’ve noticed my parents’ beliefs aren’t too ingrained either. They too seem to be going through the motions. They never really taught us much about it. They just took us to church from time to time. We rarely mentioned God at home, unless it was to ward off a bad future. For example, when they part company with friends or family, they say, “See you soon, God willing.” It seems an odd sentiment to me.

Perhaps their religious habit was instilled at an early age. But, it wasn’t ingrained in me. I know that I feel super confident on a bicycle because I learned at an early age. But, I don’t feel as confident on roller blades because I learned as an adult. Maybe it’s just practice. However, I haven’t had much practice in believing. I doubt that getting into the actions of religion will make me religious, though. Maybe, I’m just one of those that will have to suffer alone. It would be nice to have G. to turn to. But, I don’t feel motivated in that direction.

The Smell of Warm

Today I walked in to a cold room that smelled warm. What an odd thing, for one sense to remind me of another. The fragrance struck the same notes as the warm dust that is the prelude for a California furnace that has been restarted after a long Spring-Summer-Fall caesura.

Then, I walked into a neighboring room. The fragrance grew stronger. It was coffee. I had never noticed coffee smelled like warm dust.

Blah Blah Blah

 

Is there anyone that wakes up feeling energized, healthy, and strong? I don’t remember feeling otherwise as a child. But, adulthood has slapped me into a permanent ennui. I’m not sure if my aches and pains are a manifestation of my tired psyche. Or, maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe my aches and pains dull my enthusiasm.

In any case, I pretend to feel up. My feelings shouldn’t be a pestilence on the people in my proximity.  It’s not fair to them. It would be as unkind as sticking my leg out in their path and causing them to trip. Likewise, I mustn’t trip up their outlook on their day.

But, it is not always easy. Sometimes, it feels easier to spare them my company. Unfortunately, sometimes it is their company that boosts my spirits. I wish that sometimes, I am a boost to their’s. I hope today, I can find the right company. Someone that is strong enough to be near me and not be affected by unhappiness; someone that has enthusiasm to spare.

…I guess I don’t have much to complain about. I have income, a home, food; but don’t we all like to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time?

Give me a human voice.

Today, I called the USPS to coordinate a redelivery. Of course, an automated, female-sounding voice answered. The voice asked me to say this and that. But, I found myself resenting it. I don’t like talking to machines.

My outlook has been shaped by the idea, that it’s only the insane, or at least slightly off that talk to inanimate objects. However, more and more the trend is for us to interact electronically to get service. This strikes me as odd.

Whenever they speak of jobs created they list that the service industry is growing. Yet, it seems more and more, when I call a business for service, I get the automated voice. It ticks me off.

I push random buttons until the lady voice says something like “Sorry I’m having trouble understanding. I’ll transfer you to an operator.” Finally! Just what I wanted in the first place.

Perhaps the younger generation that enjoys updating their status on twitter via their mobile phone doesn’t mind interacting with the voice recognition system. But, I prefer using language with humans, not computer programs.

The Mornings Last Longer.

Mornings are not my thing. I don’t remember if they ever were. But, I do remember jumping up out of bed before the 7am alarm could wake my roommate in college. I don’t remember the long start up time that I feel now, twenty years later. These are the things about aging they don’t tell you. It is easy to see the physical changes: the skin, hair, and girth. Old people tell you about the difficulty healing or jumping as high. But, it never dawned on me that these changes would make my mornings longer.

When I was younger all I did was get out of bed and maybe put my hair in a pony tail and brush my teeth. Now, this process of grooming takes much longer. It requires blow dryers, flat irons, and hair goop. That’s just for the hair. Then my face requires lotions and makeup to look not nearly half as good as youth did. It’s too bad that we don’t appreciate how good we have it when we are younger.

As an adult, I knew things would be different. But, I kept thinking maybe I’ll feel the energy I used to if only I sleep well. I thought a good night’s sleep was all I needed to rejuvenate my face too. But, after so many nights of hoping to recover my vitality, I’ve realized, it’s only going to keep changing. What I see in the mirror and what I feel in my joints are due to age more than lack of sleep. In truth, I sleep pretty well. But, I’m not feeling my best until after noon. I guess that’s what twenty years has done to me.

Juicy Fruit Drippings

I like to eat oranges, and mangoes, and watermelon and pretty much any other juicy sweet fruit that leaves my hands in need of a washing. I also enjoy those stringy bits that get stuck between my teeth. I like it especially on a summer night when the air has turned cooler but the earth is still hot. I enjoy looking out into the darkness and feeling the heat from below, the cool from above, and the juicy in my mouth.

Some people would cut up the fruit and eat it with utensils to avoid getting too many drippings. But, for me, the more senses I can engage in consuming the fruit, the better. Its better when more surface area gets tangled up in the activity. The skin on my chin and the skin on my arms and sometimes the skin on my legs add to my enjoyment when a dripping fall and spreads.

Next Exit: You've Lost It.

I’ve had the same combination lock since I graduated high school in 1988. I remember using it to hold my stuff in Boelter Hall at UCLA. The next time I remember using the lock was when I started exercising. I’ve used the lock on a regular basis for years as I lock my gym bag behind a metal door.

But, imagine my dismay when one day, I returned to my gym locker and couldn’t remember the combination. It felt like when I can’t find quite the word I want to say. Usually the word ends up confused and combined with another word that means a similar thing. That is what happened to me with the lock. I was recalling numbers that had nothing to do with my lock: my phone numbers, my address, my birthday, for example.  It took a long time before I was finally able to access the right place in my memory.

I wonder how it is that this happened. I wonder how something I use so often could get overshadowed by other information. I wish when I can’t find the right word, I could afford to take the time to search my memory for as long as I did with the combination. But, usually I’m engaging in ‘interpersonal communication’ and can’t ask the other party to ‘please hold’….

But, the episode is also a bit scary. We all fear losing it. We look for signs we are on that path. For those 10-15 minutes, I felt like I was on that ramp to losing it. Thank goodness, I haven’t been on that path since. But, I’m searching for the next sign of my exit from sanity. I hope it never comes.

Ketchup

Today, I want to bring up a subject that is important to me. That subject is ketchup. I like the taste of ketchup. Its tart-sweetness adds just the right zest to so many dishes. But, not everyone shares my fondness for ketchup. Rather, some think that the way I express my affection for ketchup is odd.

Last week, I had breakfast with a very good friend. We ate at a Hawaiian restaurant. The buffet included a delicious fried rice dish. Mixed into the item were bits of egg and sausage. When she saw me pour ketchup into the mix, she made a disapproving face. She followed that up by a disapproving comment. That is not the first time she has found my use of ketchup odd. I also enjoy my tuna salad with ketchup. She thinks ketchup and tuna is an even odder combination than fried rice and ketchup.

But, you know what? I like that it is odd.  I enjoy being a little weird. We all want to be special. We all want to be unique. Weird implies unique.

It is too late for me to become a rock star. I have no special talent in sports or the arts. One thing that distinguishes me is my set of quirks. My love of ketchup is only one of them. I do enjoy my weirdness. I also enjoy the quirks in you! Those are the qualities that make you special. As long as your quirks do no harm, embrace them. Because those are the things people remember about you. People might love them; they might hate them. But, they remember them. 

p.s. One place I will not put ketchup is on my hot dog. Ketchup doesn't belong on hot dogs.